I truly believe that one of the hardest things you experience, as a parent, is letting your child fail. We’re human. We want to protect others from experiencing hardship like we experienced. However, sometimes that is part of their journey, as well. Sometimes, experiencing this is part of becoming who they are meant to be. Children, particularly teenagers, will fight tooth and nail. They will say terrible things and do terrible things in order to prove that they are their own person. They NEED to make the mistake to learn from it. That, my friend, is when it’s often best to say:

I’m ready to pick you up when you fall down.

And before you say it, no, I’m not suggesting you say that allowed in its entirety. In fact, often better to say “I’m here if you decide you need me.” Essentially, you’re saying the same thing. You’re saying that it is THEIR call when they seek you out and you will be here regardless. You are not trying to foretell the heartache you know their about to experience. Instead, you are letting them experience their life in the way they need to. You are waiting in the wings while they take center stage.

What does this NOT mean?

This does NOT mean that you need to accept disrespect and misbehavior that will lead to injury in the process. If your child is on a track to hurt themselves or others, you still need to be their wall. If your child is blatantly disrespecting you, others, or themselves, you absolutely need to set boundaries and let them know what is tolerated and what is not. These words are not to override every other parenting tidbit; they are to offset life lessons.

Why do I point this out?

There is a trend going around where people are using the excuse of “letting their children be who they are” or “letting their child learn” that somehow has made them think that they can’t do these things and still teach them basic life lessons in how to be a good person or a productive member of society. It is a perfectly attainable goal to love and accept who your child is and what their quirks are and still teach them basic human decency. You see, many of these people talk about how the world needs more change but aren’t willing to deal with their child being upset with them in order to even change their own home.

With that said, I close by saying the following:

All of us needed to learn life lessons at some point. Maybe it’s how friendships work, how hard jobs are, or how hard it is to save for a big purchase. Maybe it’s just that life happens and you can’t always plan or prepare. Whatever the lesson, it made us who we are. Sometimes, the best thing you can do, as a parent, is let your child learn these same lessons, make mistakes, and learn to be productive members of society. In the meantime, batten down the hatches, do some research on how to help them navigate whatever mistake it is (make extra money to deal with their debt, etc) and be the rock they need when they eventually need your assistance.