I have another graduate. In the scheme of our family, that means we are halfway done with graduations (at least on the high school level). This one’s a little different though. This one was my I-Don’t-Wanna-Do-Homework-Even-Though-I-Test-Ridiculously-High-and-could-get-into-any-college kid. This was the kid that was more into socialization than planning and he is my “fly by the seat of your pants” kid. He tests in the top percentage of the county and state and grasps concepts without even studying. He’s my “just relax, I’ve got this” kid and, frustratingly so, he’s often right.

If I’m being honest, when the kid scored a perfect score on his AP Calculus exam, I wanted to punch him in the arm and say, “Why couldn’t you just do this the whole time? Why did you fight me so much?” (Before I get anyone’s panties in a bunch, I am metaphorically punching… I certainly do not in any way punch my kids or anyone else.) The problem is that I knew the answer: this is who he is. He’s not a planner. Don’t get me wrong, he saves money and carries an emergency kit in his car. He’s a prepper (so to speak) but not a planner.

So why in the world am I letting this bother me so much?

The answer I’d love to tell you is “I’m a mom and I worry” or “I don’t want him to make the same mistakes I did or the ones I watched others make.” Those are great answers but I believe that they’re often masks of the real reasons. Look deeper. Here’s the thing, I am a planner. I’m a steadfast planner. I like to plan my outfits for work the night before so I don’t have to think in the morning. I like to plan what time I’ll get up for an event so I can plan for traffic. There’s nothing wrong with being a planner, but if I’m being honest with myself, that’s why this bothers me; it makes me uncomfortable. A great comparison would be when my significant other just gets in the car with me and takes us on an adventure…well where are we going? How long will we be gone? Am I wear appropriate attire? He’s not a planner either and it’s probably why he has such a great bond with my son. He’s given me insight into the fact that sometimes the greatest adventures in life don’t really have a plan.

So judge me for being okay with the fact that my high school graduate son isn’t really 100% sure what he wants to do next. Maybe that looks like a gap year. Maybe that looks like him doing part time classes at a community college. Maybe he’ll decide to do late admissions to a tech school or something. The reality is that this is his life and I don’t get to make that decision for him. I need to let the proverbial baby bird spread its wings and give flying his best chance. If he falls back into the nest, he’ll try again, but he learns it on his own.

I say all of that to say this: sometimes you just have to trust that all the work you’ve put in is good enough to let them try to do it on their own. Maybe it will work and maybe it won’t, but it’s important to let them give it a go. Breathe, close your eyes if you need to, and let that baby bird try to fly.

Congratulations to the class of 2021 (everywhere). Keep your chins up and work your butts off and you’ll be just fine.