There is something to be said for traditions, especially as your kids age. There aren’t a lot of books written about parenting kids in their twenty something years. It’s a lovely balance between providing guidance and “counseling” when necessary, but really being able to enjoy them, as well. It’s a balance of watching them make decisions that you know are going to sting a little when it goes badly, but also allowing them to spread their wings and learn. After all, you are doing a disservice to your children by constantly stopping them from making any mistakes. They never learn to be independent of you.

But I digress…..

As my children have aged, traditions have adapted. Many things we used to do now work around multiple different schedules aligning in some sort of way. Sometimes we change things up and sometimes, just sometimes, we have a one off, fun non-tradition (is that a word?) This year’s fun was Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s fell on a Saturday this year (already unusual) and most of the kids are single. We decided to have an impromptu “fancy” dinner. When they were really little, I used to let them put on their Sunday best, eat off the fancy china and drink from wine glasses. This year, they wanted to repeat that tradition with a twist….no Sunday best, just Valentine’s colors. They each had to bring their own Valentine’s colored beverage of choice and we made steak, twice baked potatoes, and red velvet cookies. We ate by candlelight and drank from wine glasses and it was truly, truly lovely.

These moments. These little moments of just silly, impromptu fun are what we live for. Years from now, when they’re telling stories about me at my memorial service, I hope they remember these silly little impromptu fun things we did, even when they were old enough to do what they wanted. I hope that they remember the bonding and the pure silliness of clinking wine glasses full of Starbucks pink drink, white chocolate coffee, and red Gatorade. I hope that they remember the silliness of toasting to them being unattached and not having to buy a Valentine’s gift for anyone. I hope they remember the little goody bags of chocolates and fruit snacks that they still get as adults. These little moments, these little opportunities to let them know that no matter how old they get, they’re always my babies to me. This is what it’s all about.

So take your fancy Valentine’s dinners where you eat lobster by candlelight in the city any day of the week. I’ll take my silly twenty somethings having a moment of fun with me where they know that I’m still all in on being their biggest cheerleaders.