2020 is a new decade (though some argue it begins in 2021). January 1 is the start of a new year and it’s a great opportunity to start over. It’s also a great opportunity to strictly change course. What’s the difference? To start over would indicate that you are completely tossing away the old and bringing in the new (which is great for bad habits that you’re trying to break). To change course simply means to map out what’s going right and wrong on your current course and modify it a bit.

A great example of this is relationships. Sometimes, in the case of abuse and such, starting over is the best course of action. Other times, it’s a great idea to look at what’s working and what’s not working in your relationship and go from there. Really encourage and love on the things that are going well and make a plan to change the things that aren’t.

Another great example is parenting. Sometimes an old parenting habit just needs to be thrown out completely. Other times, you just need to look at what’s working and what’s not and change the things that aren’t working.

Friendships….

Eating habits…..

The list goes on and on.

Here’s the thing……

Starting over can sometimes have an adverse effect on your mental health because you never really address what went wrong before throwing out the old. Instead of addressing what role you played or what decisions you made that led to such an awful place that you needed to throw it completely away, you simply toss it out and hope for a different result next time. But as Dr. Phil says, “You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.” The reality is that if you never address the causes and decisions that led to ground zero, you’ll just end up at ground zero again. So if you’re choosing to start over, take time to look at how you got there and learn from your mistakes before you toss out the trash and start new.

On the other hand, changing courses can be challenging too. Take the time to really spend time with yourself and learn what’s going right. Take time every day to focus on those things and take time each day to focus on what you have in life that is a blessing to you. (Some days it might seem easier than others). Then, take stock of what needs changed and why it needs changed. Again, look at WHY it isn’t working and really work to address the change in a way that prevents it from happening again. The reality is that you will succeed better in changing course if you’re working hard at correct your part.

The best advice I can give to you is to write down what your goals are. Put into writing where you want to be in a month, six months, twelve months and how you plan to get there. Reflect on these goals daily and reflect on how you’re progressing, then adjust from there.

You can do it! You’ve got this!